If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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