There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
