it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Mom said you looked used
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Someone came in the potted fern
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
