woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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