I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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