Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
