I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
did i just pee glitter
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
