Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I have tasted many bathrooms
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize