Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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