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butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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