awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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