I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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