I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
