im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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