Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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