take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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