My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
