I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
