Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry SAWMAN51 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.

Fav 30 4249 1176
share tweet
(918): View more from Oklahoma

And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.

Fav 84 28657 1670
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(812): View more from Indiana

Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??

Fav 35 1760 4088
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed

Fav 19 4037 1547
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."

Fav 13 2189 5019
share tweet
(270): View more from Kentucky

The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.

Fav 30 5884 4006
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.

Fav 5 3959 1155
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(562): View more from California

I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs

(310): View more from California

the cheaper the better

Fav 1 683 337
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!

Fav 0 62 21
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT