is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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