Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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