in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
