im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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