I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize