Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
These tits shall not be calmed
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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