Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
