But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
