he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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