I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
