ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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