Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize