I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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