my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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