Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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