I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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