i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
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The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
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My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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