I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
