White coat. Heels.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
