Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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