i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize