i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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