I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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