a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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