Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
