Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize