The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
