So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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