Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
