my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize