youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I smell stomach acid.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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