There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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