So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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