in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
