She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
