Can Purell be used as lube?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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