i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
