We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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