Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
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Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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