There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
