So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
