I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
