is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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